The kids have already run off to play, I stand at the door having yet another conversation with a parent about how our daughter’s can’t sleep at night. We nod at each other in support and exchange helpful tips and strategies – meditation radio gadgets, breathing techniques, bedtime routines, and visualization strategies. We don’t know what else to do but burden our children with practicing more and more self-care so they won’t feel sick with fear and stress on a daily basis.
According to a report published by the CDC last month, nearly 3 in 5 teen girls in the United States feel persistently sad or hopeless and 30% seriously considered attempting suicide. 1 in 5 teen girls have experienced sexual violence in the past year. LGBTQ+ teens are experiencing higher levels of mental distress, risk of suicide and sexual violence.1 These statistics are staggering.
Twenty-four hours after the CDC report came out, I sat on the couch with my daughter as she told us about her school day. In the morning there was an announcement over the PA notifying students and staff to go into lockdown. It was not a drill this time. She watched the teacher pull down the blinds and turn the lights off in the classroom, while attempting to reassure the kids. She observed the teacher texting other staff in the building to find out more information.
I watched her little eleven year old face, looking back at me wide eyed and distressed, as she recounted the experience and told us how scared she felt. ‘I hid under a desk at the back of the classroom with two of my friends as we decided what to throw at the shooter. First we’d throw our drink bottles, next our folders and then our school laptops.’ Her body still tight and braced from the day. She explained how she sat huddled under her school desk for 40 minutes before police determined there was no active shooter and deemed the campus secure.
I listened, feeling heartbroken that my daughter’s sense of safety at school had been shattered and relieved to be one of the lucky communities today. Our conversation felt so rudimentary and utterly insane, all at the same time. She went to her morning classes, hid under her desk terrified for almost an hour, did some homework in her free period, then jumped on the bus and headed home. It’s okay mum, nobody was murdered at school today. That’s good sweetheart, now finish your homework and brush your teeth before you go to bed. Goodnight, love you! This is life of a parent and child in the America. So disturbing. So normal. So unnecessary.
The CDC identified schools as a vital lifeline to help struggling youth and urgently recommended investment in school programming.2 Of course we should invest in school programming, but how can schools be both a sanctuary of safety and a place where 43,000 children were exposed to gunfire last year.3
I am tired of writing another, slightly different, version of the same story. But here we are again. And so I will continue to vote, and write, and scream into the void, and stay present when it’s too much and too painful to bear witness, and offer group therapy for the kids in my community, and support to the teachers through professional training and development, and invest in our schools so they can continue to offer special programming for kids, and hope that eventually our collective efforts will tip the scales towards restoring our children’s fundamental human rights — the right to life, to education, to safety and to equality.
I will call out attempts to blame teen girls and their social media use for causing their emotional distress. And draw connections between increased rates of sexual violence4 and decreased access to abortion, daily mass shootings and the poor mental health of children, the systematic attacks on transgender and gay rights and increased rates of suicide, anxiety in teens and rates of alcohol use, financial stress, loneliness, job and housing insecurity, increased cost of living and lack of access to mental health resources experienced by their parents and care-givers.5
I will lay all of this information out, again — the suffering of our children and systemic oppression and violation of their basic human rights. Then I will tuck my baby girls into bed, kiss them goodnight, and pray they can do enough self-care and self-protection to survive another day in America.
Enough,
Kate
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Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2023, February 13). U.S. teen girls experiencing increased sadness and violence press release. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Retrieved March 9, 2023, from https://www.cdc.gov/nchhstp/newsroom/2023/increased-sadness-and-violence-press-release.html
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2023, February 13). U.S. teen girls experiencing increased sadness and violence press release. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Retrieved March 9, 2023, from https://www.cdc.gov/nchhstp/newsroom/2023/increased-sadness-and-violence-press-release.html
17 facts about gun violence and school shootings. Sandy Hook Promise. (2023, February 24). Retrieved March 9, 2023, from https://www.sandyhookpromise.org/blog/gun-violence/16-facts-about-gun-violence-and-school-shootings/
Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network. Scope of the problem: Statistics. RAINN. Retrieved March 9, 2023, from https://www.rainn.org/statistics/scope-problem
It is important to note that all of these factors disproportionately impact marginalized communities.